Power of Motivation

Man, I never thought when I downloaded a motivational app that it would change my mind as much as it has. Every single day I get hit at least once, but usually multiple times a day, by powerful statements I NEED to hear right between the eyes. Sometimes I get freaked out that it appears to read my mind, or my heart, and say exactly what will lift me up at any given moment.

I’ve struggled with this one. Allowing myself to recognize the poison of negativity that has flooded my life in the last 14 months and the devastating effect it has had on me, my health, and my family. Given that I grew up around that kind of poison you would think I would have clued in sooner but it took being completely distanced from it to understand I did not need, or want, it in my life. That sometimes no matter how devastating it looked at the time it happens you had to let bad things happen to those you care about so that YOU can be ok. That that isn’t selfish. It’s just how the rest of the planet lives that doesn’t give everything of themselves to other people forgetting they are important too. #guiltyascharged

God lets those bad things happen because He has a plan greater than you and greater than the negativity in mind for you. I’ve turned away from Him time and time again angry for the things I felt He has senselessly put me through in my life. Born with a life altering birth defect, born to an abusive mother who married abusive men, losing my grandfather who was the only father I knew, losing my husband….

Yet He continues to call me towards Him and bring me peace when I am in pain when I choose to let Him. The key there is when I choose to let Him. I’m getting better at that and I am feeling the peace that comes with that.

Never did I ever…think this statement would apply to me. I’ve had so much loss in my life I tend to keep people around who aren’t good for/to me. Form relationships out of fear of being not liked, not loved, fear of being rejected by people I care about because they care about bad people…the list goes on. Ever so slowly I feel growth taking place that is giving me strength to say HELL NO.

You aren’t abusing me anymore.

You aren’t taking advantage of me and my generous spirit anymore.

I matter.

I am enough.

I am meant for great things and if you are hurting me they probably don’t include you.


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