Tim has called Lilah my “squishy” for a while now. Mainly because I adore the way her jowls squish together when she is cuddling or concentrating. I probably have more pictures of her squish face than I do of her period. I can’t explain it….it’s just a happy spot.
Last week I met some amazing creatures. Romulo, Remo, and Fred the sea lions. What started as a fearful day turned into one of the probably best excursions I have ever done.
While I am obsessed with the ocean when you get the chance to get up close to these sea creatures and you realize just how large they are and how very small you are…it’s daunting. To be in a pool with them when you are pretty much a non-swimmer? Uh huh…that’s the stuff bad movies are made of. I’ve been pulled out of the ocean twice for having panic attacks when attempting to snorkel. My passions and my fears very definitely collide when it comes to the ocean and her inhabitants.
There are times I can talk myself through the fears. There are times I need my tribe, my counselor, my breathing tricks, all the things. Then there are those other times. The ones where God says “hey remember me? Might want to talk to me about it.” Last week was one of those times. But what I refuse to do after two and a half years of slinging through pain and trauma is let the fear win. God showed up in a big way for me last week and reminded me that all I needed to do was pray.
Anyway, back to my new squishy. I am flat in love with these sea lions. Looking for all the sea lion things….charms for a bracelet, conservation groups like I follow for my turtle obsession…it just amazed me that such a large animal can be so smart and maneuver around awkward humans so well. It is a hard call between Fred the 800 lb sea lion with a special name and Remo the one I got to swim and dance with as to which is my favorite.
I’ve been talking about them so much and changing background pictures on my devices Tim says Lilah is going to get jealous of my new squishy. The sea lions definitely aren’t quite as cuddly and portable as Lilah but they hold a very special place in my heart for how they helped me face a fear and turn it into such an amazing day.
Sometimes we just have to remember that there are angels around us. In every form and fashion guiding us through things we tell ourselves we can’t do. And that when we trust God the most amazing things can happen.
Blessings y’all – Amy