Tag: fear

Learning to Let It Unfold

I read something the other day that stopped me mid-scroll in a way that only the right words at the right time can do: “The universe has the most beautiful plan for you. Allow it to unfold in divine timing. You can not rush magic.” And I’ll be honest with you… my first reaction wasn’t peace. It was resistance.

Because if there is anything I have tried to do in this life, it is hurry things along. Fix it faster. Heal it quicker. Figure it out now so I don’t have to sit in the uncomfortable middle of it all. I am not, by nature, a “let it unfold” kind of person. I am a Google it, plan it, fix it, solve it before bedtime kind of person. But life—if it has taught me anything lately—does not operate on my timeline. Not the hard things, not the healing things, and definitely not the meaningful things.

The parts of life that matter most seem to take their time. They stretch out longer than we want. They sit in that space where there are more questions than answers, more waiting than movement, more uncertainty than clarity. And that space is uncomfortable. Because waiting feels like doing nothing, and doing nothing feels like losing control. But maybe that’s where I’ve been getting it wrong. Maybe not everything is meant to be managed and mastered and pushed forward by sheer willpower. Maybe some things are meant to be allowed.

Allowed to grow. Allowed to heal. Allowed to become what they’re meant to be without me overworking every step of the process. That word—allowed—requires a kind of trust I’m still learning. Trust that even when I can’t see progress, something is happening. Trust that even when it feels slow, it’s still moving. Trust that just because it isn’t happening on my timeline doesn’t mean it isn’t happening at all.

When I look back, I can see it more clearly. The things I once tried to rush, the answers I demanded too soon, the outcomes I thought I needed immediately… so many of them unfolded better because they didn’t happen when I wanted them to. The delay wasn’t denial. It was preparation. Things were shifting behind the scenes in ways I couldn’t see at the time, shaping me into someone who could actually hold what I was asking for.

That doesn’t mean the waiting suddenly becomes easy. I still catch myself trying to rush outcomes, trying to force clarity, trying to skip ahead to the part where everything makes sense. But I’m learning, slowly and imperfectly, that not everything is meant to be rushed into understanding. Some things are meant to be lived through first. And maybe there is something beautiful happening in the unfolding, even when it feels messy or unclear or painfully slow.

So today I’m reminding myself that I don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I don’t have to force the timeline or push what isn’t ready. I can take the next step, show up where I am, and trust—just a little more than I did yesterday—that something meaningful is still in motion. Because you really can’t rush magic, and maybe the most beautiful parts of life are the ones that take their time getting to us.

Blessings y’all – Amy

False Evidence Appearing Real

Ever hear something once and it registers but your brain kind of dismisses it? Then when you see it again…in big letters on the motivation app on your phone…it smacks you in the face? Sometimes I wonder if that’s because the way it is presented is different or if it’s because we’re in a different headspace on the second or third (or thirtieth) time of being presented with a message.

F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real.

Ask an anxiety sufferer and they will tell you their fear is VERY much real. To them (us/me) it IS. You “normal” folks think we have a screw loose. But you can tell me that the spider that is outside my front door is NOT going to somehow climb out from under my shoe and bite me while I’m squashing it and I’m still going to be safely inside the house trembling. It’s a SPIDER. They kill people with their bites. That’s the only bit of evidence my worried brain has retained and the logical “you are 135 lbs to his .05 lbs” never gets a chance to weigh in. (Huge shout out BTW to my bestie Becky for driving over with her spider spray and killing it for me!)

Another example. Ever walk into a room and conversation stops and you are SURE that everyone in that room had to be talking about you? No evidence to support that other than that fretful voice in your head saying “do I have a spot on my shirt, is my hair sticking up, did I put on pants”? It’s the F.E.A.R. of judgement, condemnation, and standing out that makes us sure that ill timed pause in conversation pertained to us. In reality, as humans, most of us are too involved in our own mess to notice anyone else’s.

A more personal example? I was adamant from the time Fred died that I couldn’t live alone. I didn’t know how, my world centered on my family, I am deaf enough that I am not safe, etc etc. That F.E.A.R. for four plus years damn near stopped my life. Alienated parts of my family. Made me so anxious, stressed, and afraid that my body turned on me. Like to the tune of 85 pounds lost in 11 months turned on me. Guess what? 99% of the time I prefer to be in my house by myself. I have no one to clean up after, my house never stinks, laundry “day” consists of about one load, I always have groceries and my favorite cookies in the pantry….you get the idea. Do I still wish I had someone to kill the spider/roach/whatever creepy crawly? Yep. Is that reason enough to live in fear trying to control everything out of my control to stop time? Nope. (Do I miss the time when my husband was alive and my kids were little? Every damn day.)

I was brought up taught to be afraid. Taught in childhood and young adulthood either by example or being told “don’t do this – it’ll hurt you”, “don’t say that – you’ll hurt my feelings”, and “do xyz – or something bad will happen”. Sometimes presented as rules but more often than not just presented as punishment when I did the “thing” I was being taught to be afraid of. Also taught later in life by trauma and loss that the world was something to be afraid of.

So how do we keep F.E.A.R. from running our life? I don’t have all the answers – I’m still a work in progress. Learning to push against those fears is HARD! But one thing I am finding that works is when I feel that familiar surge of panic/anxiety in my chest I stop and breathe. I ask myself “do I have any evidence that what I am afraid of can happen”? If I do – what is the worst case scenario? What is the best case? In most situations we land somewhere in the middle. (I did lose the battle on the spider!)

But it is a choice. It’s a choice to question, every day, until your curiosity and your heart are open and F.E.A.R. isn’t your driver. It’s a hard choice, the safe corner F.E.A.R. pushes you into is WAY more comfortable, but every time I’ve stared it down I’ve been dumbfounded at what I found on the other side.

See you there! Blessings y’all! – Amy