It’s time. It’s happening. The crew is in stateside and in quarantine. The CDC has finally backed off the industry. The ships are in place. CRUISING IS BACK.
If I didn’t already have a summer vacation in place as an alternate because I had no idea what the cruise industry was going to be allowed to do I would be on that first ship sailing on July 3rd. I would be kneeling at the end of the gangplank worshiping my favorite form of travel. There would probably be tears.
Some of you think I am kidding. Those of you who really know me? Know that I am absolutely 100% not kidding. Ships being shuddered to a stop this last 18 months has impacted my health. My mental health.
You see some people travel just for fun. I travel to keep my sanity. I operate daily on a breakneck all out pace. My mind never stops and never gets a break. When I step on a ship I stop. Just full on stop. I sit on a bar stool (geez that sounds bad) at my favorite bar either with old friends (my last cruise was literally booked to be with two of my favorite bartenders before they went on vacation) or with people who will be friends by the end of a week. It is so polar opposite in behavior it’s sinful in it’s blissfulness. Factor in on top of that having someone else cook and clean for me for a week. And my astrologically signed Cancer heart being surrounded by water for a week? PARADISE.
So to say I’m excited about those beautiful ships setting sail? Just a little. I have massaged what is left of my vacation time nine ways to Sunday to see if I can fit in a cruise between now and my Thanksgiving cruise. (Did I mention I scheduled one of those as soon as the industry was green lighted?) Unfortunately I can’t make an extra week work but I am counting the days until Thanksgiving. Meanwhile I’ve checked in with the friends who became family (Carnival crew members) to see who is landing on which ships so I know who’s neck I get to hug first.
Venture to the heart of Texas and you’ll find a sweet little town with so much charm you just don’t want to leave. Fredericksburg, Texas has become THE southern destination for girls’ trips, bridal parties, couples weekend getaways, and childless vacations. Here you can enjoy hills filled with vineyards as far as the eye can see, a Main Street full of treasures to explore, and country air to help you relax and sleep.
With four of us traveling in from Lubbock, Houston, and Dallas meeting in Fredericksburg is almost a dead center 4 to 4 1/2 hour drive for all of us. Not an unpleasant drive and not so far that you lose an entire day on either end of a trip driving.
In a single weekend we managed to do tastings at six wineries. Five of the six were laid back relaxing experiences where the mood was quiet and we were able to converse and hear the sommelier tell us about the wine we were trying. One vineyard we could have been at a bar based on the noise level of the three bridal parties not knowing how to conduct themselves as ladies. I don’t hold that against the vineyard other than management not stepping in to protect the ambience of their establishment.
I think my favorite of the weekend was a last minute edition at Texas Heritage Vineyard. Our driver recommended it after our disappointing aforementioned stop. We were pretty late in the afternoon for a tasting at Texas Heritage but they welcomed us and didn’t let on that they probably wanted to go home.
As we sat trying wines one of the owners came and sat down with us and just made conversation. He was charming and adorable. I missed the details on the last two wines because I was enjoying a totally separate conversation with him. 🙃 When our tasting was over there was one type of wine that wasn’t offered on the menu that day that my niece really wanted to try. Our sommelier was happy to bring around a taste. It was just a Texas type experience. Needless to say, they gained a couple new wine club members before we left.
We also had amazing food experiences while here. Friday night we ate at The Club at Barron’s Creekside. While I personally didn’t care for the blues music (not my fav type of music) the place was pretty much packed. The food was amazing and the sunset view over the vineyard was stunning. A wonderful start to our weekend. With the added bonus of the owners nephew being from Austria and him setting us straight on what our Saturday night dinner plans needed to be.
Saturday night we were directed to get our name on the list at a little German place called Otto’s and to head next door while we waited to a French market called La Baruche. Both experiences were mind blowing. Starting at La Baruche…the sommelier didn’t stop until she had us paired with a wine that was perfect for all four of us. (A couple of us were just about wine-d out for the day.) We then had a warm Brie that was unlike anything I have ever had as an appetizer. Since the restaurant had slowed down we got to spend some time with the sommelier getting some more recommendations on wines we might not have chosen for ourselves normally. It was wonderful.
Our call came that our table was ready at Otto’s. Whatever personality our waiter lacked was made up for by the food and drinks. Our driver for the day had told us to get the mushroom appetizer – it was great. We also got the pretzel. Still not sure what the sauce was that came with that pretzel but I will be thinking about it for weeks to come.
I got the salmon. I haven’t finished an entire plate of food in months. Save for a couple shared bites for the others to get a taste I ate the whole darn thing. It was that good. AND we got dessert. Apparently sunshine and wine drinking makes you really hungry.
We got the added bonus of being able to stay at a friend of mine’s home. The kind of home I dream about owning someday. Creaking original floors, wide trimmed doors and floors, sprawling garden, chickens roaming, open floor plan. If I was more educated in architecture I could tell you year and style but I can only speak from how it makes my heart beat to walk around it. Staying in a charming place instead of a box hotel definitely added to the experience!
It’ll be hotter here than Napa this summer. But it’ll make up for it with Texas hospitality and charm. I personally can’t wait to get back here. ❤️
October 2019 was so long ago. September 23, 2022 is…exactly…469 days away. The world in which I have lived in between those two dates has been upended, set back down, shaken a little more, and may be *finally* finding some footing. When in Greece on that first trip overseas in 2019, the little stop we SQUEEZED into our Italy trip so Lee could dive the Mediterranean, I fell in love. I’m an island girl. This we know. But the people here? Amazing. The views? Stunning. I did not want to leave.
I was planning a trip to go back before we even left it seemed like. Making the connections via social media so I could stay in touch with the time difference. Looking at my vacation days to see when/how I could stretch them. Then COVID hit. Don’t we start almost all stories that way when we talk about 2020? My travel plans came to a screeching halt. I feel fortunate we got to Mexico for 10 days before even that became taboo.
Slowly as the world has opened back up I’ve watched for info on when this beautiful place was gonna let us Americans back in. Finally the news came in May. If you are vaccinated you are welcome! (Yet another destination factoring into my vaccination decision.) Despite all my best stretching and figuring I couldn’t get back in 2021. Not monetarily or vacation days wise. #poutyface
So 2022 will be the year. It was so wonderful when we went to go at the end of the tourist season. But a some things were beginning to close for the season. So I am choosing to go about a month earlier when things will be less touristy but things still open. I have two friends with rental properties there so accommodations are easy (that is so stressful usually when planning a trip)! I can’t get flights yet – I sure wish we could book flights way out like we can cruises.
Santorini is just such a beautiful place. Cats roam freely amongst the shops and restaurants. At sundown it seems like everything just stops and you sit and watch the beautiful sunset. The people are friendly and welcoming. For a sheltered American it was Greek to me! 😉
And I can’t wait to go back. Just 469 more days. #sigh
In my opinion there are two types of people in the world…the plan every detail person and the jump in the car have an adventure type. One guess where I fall. 😂
My travel buddy Bev and I knew after how 2020 played out that our usual summer cruise was gonna be a non starter this year. So we planned a road trip. Loose use of planned. We identified the dates and the destinations. Besides that we haven’t done much more. I should add we are three weeks out from that trip.
A couple of weeks ago I began to realize I really didn’t have the fervor and excitement for that trip I usual do. We had so many stops on the road trip we were gonna be in the car every other day. Driving is NOT my thing. I have been driven everywhere but work most of the last fifteen years (thank you Lee). I reached out to Bev and said “umm how about we scale this back”. We chopped three stops off the route and got down to three cities. One of which is a fav place.
Now comes the stressful part. With it being a holiday week and with some of the COVID protocol still in place…reservations have to be made. We have to know, like now, what we want to do in any given day. Eliminating any spontaneity which it has taken me fifteen years to appreciate. (My kids can tell you stories of the early family vacations where every day was so planned it was exhausting.) Trying to identify what we want to do on any given day is 🙄. I mean what if I wake up and I am not in the mood to tour the civil war battlefield I had scheduled that day? Or what if we stayed out too late on Broadway St the night before and don’t wanna get out of bed? You see my dilemma.
I have finally narrowed it down to this. We are going to make reservations at the important-to-us-not-to-miss places for in the mornings (because one of us never sleeps past six am 🤷🏻♀️) and leave our afternoons free as a bird. Because in the end? It’s supposed to be relaxing!
P.S. if you have any must do’s in Memphis or Nashville send them to me!!!
They say everything changes when you turn 40. Actually they say it all goes to hell in a hand basket. 🤷🏻♀️ Things droop that didn’t before, going to bed at 8 am no longer seems appalling, the eye doctor says the dreaded “bi-focal” word. You don’t FEEL 40, heck you don’t feel 30, but the number keeps climbing.
More importantly your perspective on many things changes. For some, it happens naturally and without pain. Maturity just grows along with the number of candles on your cake. For others, 🙋🏻♀️, it takes catastrophic events to shake them out of the protective bubble they have cast around themselves. While I wish dearly I had fallen into group “a” my life has always dictated I do things the hard way.
If you have known me long or been reading here you know I’ve been going through massive changes in my life. Some of my choosing but most, well, not. What I didn’t anticipate as I fought, scratched, clawed, disrespected, and basically did everything but throw myself in front of things beyond my control is that God was working. He was allowing me to screw up to the “nth” degree. On purpose. Letting me get to a place there was no light. No hope. No joy. No love. Nothing at all left of the stability I craved with every fiber of my being.
Before you jump ship saying He wouldn’t do that – hang on. God had been trying to get my attention for years. Aborted journals reflect that. Times I cried out but quickly “fixed” it myself attested to that. I am a “fixer”. There is nothing (so I thought) that I couldn’t analyze for all the possible negative outcomes and navigate myself or someone I loved out of danger. I mean c’mon. If you were dealing with a human that dumb wouldn’t you let them fall as far as they could before you showed them the way?
Not saying God has any such thoughts. But I certainly would have looked at me and say “you have fun with that let me know when you need real help”. Blessedly God has abundant mercy and grace. He is patient and knew long before I did that this dark season was coming. Sometimes I wish he had given me some warning but if I look back really hard I bet I can find the warnings I chose to ignore.
Recently a co-worker told me he’s finding many people our age running into self reflection. I can’t speak for anyone else but self reflection is putting it mildly. Self analysis, soul searching, self questioning, self correction, self remodeling…you get the idea. Coming face to face with every one of my imperfections and analyzing and agonizing over how I have handled some parts of my life. How it changed relationships in my past or present. How it passed down to my children. Who my own fears and insecurities erased from my life. It’s exhausting. I’m not a bad person – I know that – but I, like any human, have places I could have chosen a different path.
It would be easy to blame it all on the very broken environment I was raised in. And while the lions share of it belongs there (validated by the counselor) at some point I consciously or subconsciously made choices for my own protection from pain. I willingly tucked my family in closer than it should have been (to be healthy) because I was afraid the world would break the happiness I had found. I guarded the nest Fred and I created with the energy of a tiger protecting a steak. When I suffered the catastrophic loss of my husband I somehow pulled my children in CLOSER. Unknowingly stifling their growth and happiness.
Regardless of what anyone thinks not a single choice I have made has been with ill intention. Not one. I am discovering how very hard it is for others to know that. In a society where judging comes first and any sort of compassion and understanding comes second it appeared controlling. Only those closest to me, who know my purest heart, understand who I am. As I embrace the woman God intended me to be, and get the love I need from Him (where I should have gotten it all along), I am finding myself still battling stress and regrets but with a softer tongue and a self awareness that comes with maturity and being shaped by pain. I find myself understanding which wrong turns I took and how a different path would have landed a different outcome. I find myself letting my children know where I went wrong so they can avoid making the same painful mistakes. Fully understanding that in their young immaturity they’ll probably have to make them anyway but once a protective mother always a protective mother.
I say all this to say…take time for reflection. Allow God to speak to your heart and show you the way. If you are still young avoid youthful impatience in your choices. Be mindful of the longevity of adulthood and how lasting decisions really can be. But know that if you are nursing a wounded heart? God still has plans for you. He does for me and while I’m impatient to find out what they are I know it’ll happen on His time. And that I am learning in every second that I am waiting.
With Mother’s Day finally in the rear view these thoughts have been bubbling for a while.
While some would argue that only childbirth makes you a mother it is so much deeper than that. To me? A mother is defined as someone, anyone, who can put the needs of another person ahead of their own and lead them. Be that biological, foster, step, adoptive, aunt, grandmother, sister, cousin, niece, friend, or family in those roles by choice. A woman who sets aside her own needs, feelings, thoughts, and wants and sacrifices for your greatness. Who in a million ways you never see sheds countless tears and asks herself a million times if she is doing the right thing, if she did the right thing, if she was ENOUGH for you. Who sits up with you when you are sick, who balances a home, work, and everything in between to make sure you have the childhood she never had. The woman in your life who STEPS UP.
Perhaps one of the reasons this is one of my favorite Bible verses is it’s application to not only the love between a man and wife but also all love.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
As a mother, you catch yourself failing sometimes in the “it does not insist on it’s own way” part. As a Mama Bear there is no greater pull inside you than to protect your child at all costs. To follow your instincts on what is right for those God trusted you to care for. That doesn’t have an expiration date. Whether they are 3 or 30, the urge to run into oncoming traffic to protect never dies. The instinct to fling your arm out across the passenger seat at a hard stop doesn’t suddenly turn off because they are adults. When they have kids of their own you’ll still worry when you know you kid is sick.
At what point does that willingness to be fearless in protecting turn into a bad thing? At what point do you go from being a great mom to being the mom who is starved just for a phone call on mandatory “call your mom” holidays? Leaving you wondering – did I do it wrong? What happened?
Take heart ladies. This, my friends, is the answer. You didn’t do it wrong. You did such a good job you set them into the world where they don’t need the safety net that is you. They are now the fearless ones. You built their wings so strong they are flying high. Does it suck that they forget who made them that strong? Yep. Does it hurt like the dickens? Holy heck yes. But Proverbs 22:6 says “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” They want to set the world on fire right now. They know where they came from and in times of crisis they will turn to you. It will be your voice they crave.
I spent most of Mother’s Day 2021 alone. I ached for my children. I cried when the phone rang and when the door opened. I cried at the emptiness of the house and the flood of posts on social media. I will never get used to that. But God pushed me to watch a sermon last night that reminded me of the truths I share with you today. I didn’t do it wrong. I got it so right – they are good human beings. I made them the amazing humans they are (I had some help from my hubby). And when the timing is right my home will be filled again with the love and laughter that makes my heart happy. Until then…I got it right.
For a supremely focused on details have to know what is happening at all times person…walking by faith is not my default condition. As a matter of fact at 42 years young I am learning that when taken out of the control all things – predict all outcomes – prepare for anything bubble I’ve lived in all my adult life I become agitated, aggressively protective of all things I deem to be mine, and my mind skitters out of control. It triggers deep anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. It also triggers a no filter ready fire aim reflex that has consequences I can’t even begin to see in my agitated state. It’s confusing to those who know me to be kind, loving beyond measure, and deeply compassionate. Who is this monster saying these things? For me it’s frightening in it’s intensity and after shocks. It’s like waking up after a car accident where you didn’t even realize you were driving and being surrounded by bodies…
I’ve always attributed smaller episodes like these to be my “Mama Bear” syndrome. Do not – under any circumstances – mess with one of my children. The consequences have always been swift and razor sharp. There are more than a few teachers or parents who made the mistake of singling out one of my children as an example that can attest to this. Or a school district who failed to recognize the patriotic importance of Memorial Day as the case was. Or a coach that didn’t recognize family time on an every other weekend schedule as more important than a Sunday practice. It has always been an involuntary launch at whomever made one of my children cry, made them sad, or threatened their welfare. No thought process just “go”. And if you draw tears from one of my children – for any reason – I see red. Just…RED.
As I am learning daily grief when Fred died literally stopped time for me. The kids stopped growing in my mind. I stopped my life. Sure, I did things. Traveled, worked, had friendships. But I made no significant progress at healing or recognizing that life should continue on. I started counseling and stopped when it became uncomfortable or hinted at those things needing to happen. I avoided people who needled me about the kids needing to have outside interests. I mean we were having fun and seeing the world – what IS your problem?
I DEFINITELY resisted the call of God in my heart to lean on Him. He took my husband away. Just three short years after taking my grandfather, the only father I had really had, away. Why on earth would I trust GOD? My life had been a series of heartache, pain, and bad events. Birth defect, abusive mother and a series of step fathers, now the loss of my beloved spouse. Didn’t He just put me on this earth to suffer? No way He wanted me – I was just His punching bag.
With all three children out of the house now I have no distraction from the call of God. And with the pain I’ve been in for the last almost year and a half – I’ve got no other option but to feel His pull. As I’ve learned to lean into Him the gentle nudge I’ve been given is to walk with Him without knowing what is next. Walk by faith not by sight. Without knowing if my children will be ok. Without knowing if I will be alone forever. Without knowing if my health will stabilize. The repeated message – in so many different ways I’ve lost count – is “Trust me child”.
My brain wars with itself every single day. The old demons are still there. The gentle peace I’ve felt small tastes of are there too. Some days I get a headache from telling myself to let go and just trust. Some days He sends so many signs I’m surprised He hasn’t taken out a billboard (He did three times on the way back from Lubbock a couple months ago). He’s provided me with a church that lights up my curiosity about Him. He’s provided the NEED for the peace of prayer. I know He can but He hasn’t gotten me completely past the anger, anxiety, and depression. I assume He’s still teaching me something with that. Some days I wake up so tormented it’s a wonder I can function. USUALLY those are the days I wind up praying so hard it’s amazing I do anything else and by the end of the day I’m peaceful.
The message in all this rambling? If God can take me…someone who literally has felt most of her life that she was being punished…and make me understand I am His child? Walk by faith. It’s HARD. I struggle with it and probably always will. But I’m learning He has a plan for all of this crazy life. And I’ll be ok if I trust Him.
As a kid in school I aced history. Not because I actually absorbed it but because I had a photographic memory and could just spit out what I needed to to ace tests and quizzes. As I wandered around Washington, DC yesterday how I wished I’d retained more of that info than I had!
I came to DC with the “standard” list of places to see. You know – the ones we see on TV? The Washington Monument from Forrest Gump… “Jenny? Jenny!” Lincoln. The White House. Along with the Arlington National Cemetery with Trace Atkins’ “Arlington” echoing in my head and visions of my husband crying every time he heard it. Every. Single. Time.
I also came conflicted about the trip due to things going on at home. My heart heavy and unsure if sightseeing was what I wanted to do.
When we left the car rental place and I started catching glimpses of things I had only seen on TV as Amy navigated DC roads (so thankful she drove so I could gawk), the air felt different. To me anyway. When we parked and walked up to the Washington Monument encircled with American flags at half mast I felt the same charge in the air that I felt previously at the 9/11 memorial in NYC. I knew other people were there but, for me anyway, I could feel the men who weren’t there. Those the monument represents. Our founding fathers that built this great country.
From there we walked into the WWII memorial. A lot to take in. Each pillar represents one of the 56 US states and territories. Then there is the wall of gold stars. That one got me. Each gold star represents 100 American military deaths…and there are 4,048 stars. So many lives given in service to our country.
World War II Memorial
It was a long walk to Lincoln. I was unprepared for how LARGE he is in person. It never looked like that on TV. It was really cool how deeply respectful people were inside the covered area near him. That is just something not seen very often anymore. The other thing I noted through all three places is there wasn’t the usual hocking of souvenir merchandise! No vendors in your face. It was hallowed ground.
Walking into the Korean War memorial…my grandpa served in Korea. I felt my gut clench and my heart ache. I miss my grandpa so. How I wish he had been there to tell me all the things I knew he could have told me. I heard a lady telling her kids as they walked by “their feet were never dry…” that I am sure was part of a larger story. I’m sure some of the nostalgia is the recognition that yet another part of my history in my grandma, and the stories that go with her, is about to pass but man….
Korea War Memorial
Next stop in our day was back to the White House for me to actually take pictures. We had driven by that morning but I didn’t expect to want to do more than that. Somewhere in the mornings’ activity I realized it was the freakin’ White House and regardless of political views I was here and needed to do more than just drive by. 😬
We had a loop planned from here. We went to the National Cathedral. We couldn’t go in but what a beautiful building. We went to Georgetown for lunch. Hello crab dip and crab cakes. Ironically landed at the sister restaurant of our breakfast stop without meaning to (highly recommend both).
Then the cemetery. Anxious about this one because I knew it would be sobering but also something I really really wanted to see. We somehow managed to time it where we got to see the changing of the guard at the Tomb of The Unknown Soldier. If you do nothing else on a trip to DC? Do that. It brings the honor and respect all our military deserves right to the forefront of your mind. Side note: was super excited to see one of the guards on the change out be a female.
We also saw a horse drawn carriage with soldiers in full uniform taking a casket through the cemetery to a service. No words. Simply no words.
Winding our way through the hills of headstones, the quiet air in the cemetery reminding you it’s sacred space, just weighs your heart down. For me the repetitive thought was “every person here died for the freedom to do this”. How do I honor that? How do I repay that debt?
A sea of reminders of people who died for my freedom
Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” has always been one of my favorite songs. I can remember almost blowing out a speaker after 9/11 playing it on an endless loop. My favorite part of the song?
“And I’m proud to be an American Where at least I know I’m free And I won’t forget the men who died Who gave that right to me And I’d gladly stand up next to you And defend Her still today ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.”
What I felt so strongly yesterday was if every American could feel what I felt yesterday there would be no division in this great land. We all bleed the same. There is no race or ethnicity under that sea of headstones in that sacred space. We are all simply bound by the ideas of some amazing men who foresaw what this country could be and worked to make it so. We have a rich history and amazing freedoms others aren’t lucky enough to have. THAT makes me proud to be an American. 🇺🇸
As I have had a chaotic stress filled week attempting to thrust me back into a place I refuse to sink into I have received several of these reminders to be grateful. So I started today making a mental list of all I have to be grateful for. Have you ever done that? Really just tuned everything else out and listed all the GOOD in your life? I started at the obvious places and as the list came it just kept coming. Despite being tested from a place I never ever expected it I am so blessed it is humbling.
I have a loving God who has never left me. Despite my best efforts to push Him away. Even on days my brain tries to convince me I can’t hear him He is still here. I seek to hear His voice and it is there with the very message I need. He drives the bus that is my life even when I don’t want to give Him the wheel.
I have a job that I love. That fulfills me and challenges me. Exhausts me too but that is something to grateful for too some days. A boss that builds me up and pushes me to be the leader that he sees inside me.
I have a family. So many people don’t. Even on the most challenging of days I wouldn’t trade any of them for any reason. There isn’t anything or anyone that will ever break that love. Because the bond a mother has for her family is unbreakable.
My tribe. 😢 Where would I be without my tribe? They have flanked me this year and reminded me who I am, how strong I am, and how to dance in the rain. ❤️ Listened to me when I cried, when I wanted to punch things, when I said the same things over and over again. Steadied my boat and pushed it forward.
This list just goes on. My dogs, my home, my hobbies, my travel, my counselor, having had my one true love…my blessings abound.
Be grateful. Be humbled by your blessings. Life is short. Waste not a moment on those who want to hurt you. Lift it all up to God and let Him handle it. Focus on the blessings and all will be well.
Wikipedia says, “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”
Y’all…legit it’s taken me 42 years to realize this. I have had moments, some longer than others, where people or things have made me THINK I was happy. But none of it compares to what I am feeling right now. This euphoric feeling I wake up with almost every single day should be bottled up as a drug to be sold. The unbelievable FEAR I have lived in for most of my life that has held me back and suffocated me has been put on a shelf and can’t compete with the joy I feel.
YES!
Don’t get me wrong. There are still bad days. I think that’s called being human. There are days where the depression or the anxiety creep in and I wonder if I dreamed it. Or I get angry about some of what is going on. But finally – FINALLY – more of my days are joyful than those days and it’s because it’s a choice. I love(d) my husband and will until the day I die. But I understand now that he couldn’t make me happy in this deep in my core sense. I love my children. But they can’t make me happy in that way either. Happiness doesn’t come from other people. If it does it’s not the real thing. Or it’s temporary because it’s dependent on someone else and their emotional health. In my opinion.
The counseling it has taken for me to understand that only I hold the keys to this has been tough. I feel like a preschooler that was left behind and is just now learning to read some days. My value, my happiness, and my self worth has ALWAYS come with my service to others (and their need of me). I probably will always have a bit of a servant’s heart but understanding that what makes me truly happy comes from within and centers on taking care of me? Mind-blowing.
Part of the reason I cratered so bad last year was being kept from feeding my joy through traveling that at the time I didn’t truly understand was such a deep part of me. I feed on meeting new people and new places. I have always thought of myself as shy. My girlfriends laugh at that. But as 2021 has begun to unfold I’ve realized it’s true. I find joy in meeting new people and new friendships. It makes me feel alive. This self realization was shocking to me. Literally. It brings a smile to my face and makes me itch to go again. I’m counting the days to my next trip out of town.
My point in all this rambling? A) if you are my age and you haven’t found your true joy yet don’t wait another day. B) if you know what makes you happy and you aren’t doing it why the hell not? C) We get ONE life. ONE. And it’s damn precious. Do not let ANYONE suck that life out of you. Own it, steer it your way, and milk this life for all it’s got. God has an unbelievable plan for every one of us and He didn’t put a single one of us here to be miserable. Have faith and jump into your joy with both feet. It’s AWESOME!
“This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24
-Amy
Exploring the world...talking about life...a little at a time
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