Tag: adventure

The Hardest Part of Vacation Isn’t Leaving

For weeks before a vacation, my mind slowly begins checking out. The countdown starts, and every day seems to stretch on forever. Work isn’t necessarily harder, but it’s harder to focus because part of me is already picturing ocean views, new cities, long dinners, and mornings without an alarm. The anticipation makes time crawl.

Then, almost without warning, it’s over.

One day you’re standing on the balcony watching the sunrise over the water, promising yourself you’ll remember exactly how peaceful you feel. The next, you’re standing in your kitchen surrounded by suitcases, trying to remember if you have anything clean to wear to work while your phone buzzes with emails that somehow multiplied while you were gone.

I’ve always thought the return home is harder than we admit. We spend so much time talking about planning the trip and soaking up every minute while we’re away that we rarely acknowledge what it feels like to step back into normal life. There’s an expectation that we should simply unpack, get a good night’s sleep, and be ready to jump right back into our routines. As if our minds can flip the same switch our luggage wheels do when they roll back into the closet.

For me, it never works that way.

Vacation reminds me of a slower version of myself. I notice things again. I linger over meals instead of rushing through them. I spend time on myself whether that’s remembering to wash my face or wearing makeup. I stop looking at the clock every thirty minutes – heck I lose track of what day it is. I find myself paying attention to conversations, sunsets, architecture, gardens, and the little moments that somehow get crowded out by everyday life. It isn’t that responsibilities disappear; it’s that they stop being the only thing occupying space in my mind.

Coming home means trading that version of myself for the one who measures her day in meetings, deadlines, laundry, grocery lists, and overflowing inboxes. Even if I enjoy my life, the transition feels abrupt. It’s almost like emotional jet lag. My body may be back home, but part of my mind is still wandering the beaches or listening to waves against the side of a ship.

I’ve started to wonder if that’s why the first few days back at work feel so exhausting. Maybe it isn’t because the workload is overwhelming. Maybe it’s because we’re asking ourselves to shift gears too quickly. We expect our minds to go from complete freedom to complete productivity overnight, and that’s asking more of ourselves than we would in almost any other situation.

When we cross time zones, we accept that we’ll need a few days to adjust. We don’t criticize ourselves for waking up at odd hours or feeling tired in the middle of the afternoon. We understand that our bodies need time to catch up. Yet when it comes to returning from vacation, we expect our minds to make that adjustment instantly.

Maybe they need time, too.

I’ve learned not to rush myself on this process. Cause if I do I get hella angry at having to work for a living lol. I like looking through the photos while the memories are still fresh instead of letting them sit on my phone for months. I’ll make one of the recipes we discovered while traveling or listen to music that reminds me of where we were. It’s my way of allowing the trip to come home with me instead of pretending it ended the moment the plane landed.

The older I get, the more I realize that the purpose of vacation isn’t simply to escape work. It’s to remember who I am when work isn’t occupying every corner of my thoughts. That version of me—the one who slows down enough to notice beauty, laugh a little more, and breathe a little deeper—isn’t someone I want to leave behind every time I unpack my suitcase.

Maybe that’s why re-entry feels so difficult. We’re not just returning to work. We’re trying to hold onto a version of ourselves that we rediscovered while we were away. And perhaps the real challenge isn’t getting back into the routine. It’s figuring out how to bring a little bit of vacation thinking into ordinary Tuesday afternoons, long after the suitcase has been put away.

Blessings y’all – Amy

The Songs That Hit Deep

A few weekends ago, I was on a girls’ trip in the Texas Hill Country. We were driving down a two-lane highway, the kind that stretches out in front of you with no particular urgency, and Cody Johnson was blasting through the speakers. My best friend and I were singing at the top of our lungs, laughing, missing half the words, and completely unconcerned with how ridiculous we sounded. It was one of those simple moments that doesn’t feel significant at the time, yet somehow you know you’ll remember it forever.

As the miles rolled by, I found myself paying attention to two songs in particular: ‘Til You Can’t and The Fall. Not because they were new to me, but because certain songs seem to evolve as we do. They mean one thing when we’re young and convinced we have all the time in the world, and something entirely different after life has taught us otherwise.

If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance
If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back
If you’re gonna love somebody
Hold ’em as long and as strong and as close as you can
‘Til you can’t

Loss has a way of changing the lens through which you see everything. Before grief, songs about taking chances, loving deeply, and embracing life can feel inspiring. After grief, they feel urgent. They become reminders that none of us know how much time we have with the people we love or how quickly the life we know can change. For those of us who have buried someone we never wanted to lose, those messages aren’t theoretical. They’re lived experience.

There was a time in my life when I would have given almost anything to avoid the storm that was coming. If someone had offered me a glimpse into the future and shown me the heartbreak, the fear, the sleepless nights, and the years of learning how to carry grief, I would have begged for a different path. I would have chosen certainty over pain every single time.

But somewhere between then and now, something shifted.

Sitting in that truck, singing those songs with the windows down, I realized that knowing everything I know today, I would still do it all again.

The ride was worth the fall
The fall was worth the smiles
The smiles were worth the tears
Tears were worth the miles
Miles were worth the pain
Pain was worth it all
It’s all worth this life
Life is worth the ride
The ride is worth the fall

That may sound strange to anyone who hasn’t experienced profound loss, but I suspect those who have will understand immediately. I wouldn’t choose the pain because the pain itself has value. I would choose it because the love was worth it. I would choose it because every beautiful thing that came before the loss mattered. And I would choose it because surviving that storm shaped the person I became afterward.

If I hadn’t lived through those years, I wouldn’t have the life I have today. I wouldn’t be Tim’s wife. I wouldn’t be the mother I am. I wouldn’t be a Mimi, experiencing a kind of joy that my younger self couldn’t even imagine. I wouldn’t have learned that people can break into a thousand pieces and somehow still find a way to rebuild. I wouldn’t understand how grief and gratitude can occupy the same space, each making the other more visible.

The truth is that so much of who I am today was forged in circumstances I never would have chosen. That’s one of life’s great paradoxes. We spend so much time wishing away the hard chapters, only to discover later that they became part of the foundation for some of the most meaningful things in our lives.

Maybe that’s why those songs lingered with me long after the trip ended. They aren’t really about loss. They’re about life. They’re about recognizing that every day is an opportunity to show up fully, to love people well, to take the trip, make the call, say the words, and stop assuming there will always be another chance. They remind me that while none of us can avoid the falls, we can decide what we do with them.

As we continued down that highway, in the pouring rain, friendship, and music, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Not gratitude for the storms themselves, but gratitude for what waited on the other side of them. Because while I would never wish those experiences on anyone, I can honestly say that the life I have today—the people I love, the perspective I’ve gained, and the joy I now recognize in ordinary moments—exists because I survived them.

Sometimes a song is just a song. And sometimes it’s a reminder that the hardest chapters of our lives don’t get the final word. Sometimes it’s a reminder that while we may not get to choose every storm, we do get to choose what we do with the life that’s waiting for us after the clouds finally clear.

Blessings Y’all – Amy